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Magnetism and Martinis
Season 1, Episode 1
Raven Chokes Beast Boy
Air date October 7, 2011
Written by TheHappySpaceman
Directed by TheHappySpaceman
Season 1
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Bad News at the Bank

A large tower stood in the middle of the city of San Francisco, California. It was in the shape of the letter T. This would have been normal to see in a city; after all, there was an arch in St. Louis, Missouri, and an Eiffel Tower in France, and even a Space Needle in Seattle, Washington, yet these are not strange, and neither would the tower be, had there not been an airplane landing on the top of the T.

The plane set down nicely. The door opened and a boy about 17 jumped out. He wore green tights, a red and green shirt, green gloves and black boots. A black mask covered his eyes. On his shirt appeared a black circle surrounding a yellow R for Robin.

He opened a hatch on the top of the tower and climbed down a ladder, followed by a girl with long flowing red hair, maybe 16. She was wearing a very short purple skirt, a sleeveless shirt so small it almost didn't exist, and boots up to her hips. Her eyes glowed a strange greenish color.

"Come on, Starfire!" Robin's voice rang out from the tower.

"Okay, honey!" Starfire disappeared down the hatch as a third teenager jumped out of the plane. He groaned when Starfire called Robin "honey." He had green skin and hair and thick, black eyebrows. His clothing was black, with a purple stripe running vertically down the center of his chest.

"I don't like this, Cyborg," he said as another teenager, about 18, climbed out of the plane. This one had brown skin, though it was hard to tell because of all the robotic implants covering his body, including his bald head.

"Relax, Beast Boy," said Cyborg stiffly.

"How can I relax?" asked Beast Boy. "For the longest time, I was sure I was going to get Starfire." He climbed down the hatch.

"Well, this trip to Japan has certainly taken a toll on all of us," said Cyborg as he climbed down the hatch. "Now that we're back, let's take the time to relax and try to get back to business." He looked up the hatch. "Raven?"

A girl got out of the plane, probably 16 but looking at least 18. She wore a black leotard and red jewelry around her waist, and her legs were bare and pale down to her black boots. Her face was covered by a black hood attached to a black cloak that stretched to the top of her boots.

Raven groaned as she walked down the hatch, closing it behind her.


"Where have you guys been?"

All of the Titans, spread out on couches, suddenly looked up to see a not-too-happy orange cat standing with his arms crossed, tapping one foot. He wore white gloves, red shoes, gray pants, and a purple short-sleeved shirt with a glowing gold badge.

"Who..." began Robin.

"I spent all day," the cat interrupted, "waiting for you to arrive. It was hard to even get in! I finally managed to pry open that secret entrance with my teeth, but as soon as I got it, wouldn't you know it? No vodka!"

"Who are you?" asked Robin.

"You don't remember?"

"Well... no."

The cat rolled his eyes. "I gave you a call back a month ago! We agreed on this day!

"Well, we kind of lost track of the time," said Cyborg, "because we were in Japan."

"Japan?!" said the cat. "Oh well, I guess you don't remember. I'm Spot, the new intern."

"Oh!" said Robin, finally remembering. "I somehow imagined you'd be... er, taller. Anyway, I'm Robin. Good to have you on board, Spot." He shook Spot's hand. "And this is the team! Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg, and this," he said as he grabbed Starfire, "is my lady, Starfire!"

She giggled. "Yeah, we started dating a few weeks ago."

"Really?" said Robin. "It seems like a lot longer."

"Come here, you!" said Starfire. The two of them started making out frantically.

Spot watched. "Damn!" he said. "You two are in love, aren't you?" Robin and Starfire continued. "Okay, guys, get a tent! You can French all you want later. Right now, will you please give me the tour?"

They pulled apart, her hair all over the place, and lipstick on Robin's face.

"Okay!" said Starfire. Both of them headed up the ladder.

"In the meantime," said Spot, "while they're getting the Tower prepared, I'm a wee bit thirsty. What do you guys have? Beer? Wine? How about a dry martini-- shaken, not stirred?"

Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged looks.

"No," answered Raven, "none of those."

"What?!" exclaimed Spot. "Are you crazy?"

"Remember, Spot," said Cyborg, "this is the Teen Titans, meaning we're not over 21." Cyborg eyed Spot narrowly. "I thought your application said you were three!"

"I'm 21 in cat years!" said Spot, frustrated. "So what do you have?"

"Let's see," said Cyborg, thinking. "Apple juice, grape juice, soda, fruit punch, milk, water, ginger ale, orange juice..."

"Okay, okay, okay," said Spot. "I'm gonna go have a virgin screwdriver."

"A what?!"

"Orange juice!"

"Okay. Here, let me show you the way."

Cyborg left the room with Spot on his heels.

"Well," said Beast Boy, obviously wanting to break the awkward silence. "Hey, Raven, have you noticed that Robin and Starfire have been acting rather weird lately?"

"It's called love, Beast Boy," said Raven.

"Oh! Right." Beast Boy paused, then a thought came to him. "Have you ever been in love, Raven?"

She reached out and gripped his neck, easily lifting him off the ground. With Beast Boy struggling, it didn't occur to him to transform into a frikkin' elephant or something.

"No," her voice steel, "and I don't ever plan to. Got it?" She threw him across the room and then calmly sat down on the couch again.

Suddenly, the alarm sounded and she jumped to her feet. A dazed Beast Boy also got up, quite a bit more slowly.

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